Joe and Marlene: September 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Jade Says Hi Pop Pop

Monday, September 21, 2009

Why some British Males shouldn't breed

The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire (U.K.) (High school)

These are genuine answers (from 16 year old boys)

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed.
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans.
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on.
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections.
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids.
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs ..................................(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope).

Q. What happens to your body as you age.
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty.
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery ............. (So true).

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination.
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow ............................. (Jesus H Christ).

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour.
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant).

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (eg the abdomen).
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:
A,E,I,O and U .......................................................................................(What the *!!*???)

Q. What is the fibula.
A. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean.
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control.
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium ................(That would work).

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'.
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure
A. A Roman Emperor ........................................................(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit).

Q. What is a terminal illness.
A. When you are sick at the airport ......................................(Irrefutable).

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature.
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face .......................(OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean.
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q. What is a turbine.
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

FW: PICK A-PECK OF PETERS PEPPERS

These are actual peppers from a garden. They are called 'Peter Peppers'....... HONEST !!

By the way, the farmer says they can grow up to 18" long!
Sort of brings tears to your eyes, doesn't it?

FW: FW: If you want a good laugh !!!FW: Why women lie

Kim M. Beckwith

Office Manager

Beckwith's Handling Equipment Services, Inc.

74 East Dudley Town Road

Bloomfield, CT 06002-1410

Ph. (860)286-8211

Fx. (860)286-0118

kbeckwith@beckwithshandling.com

From: Peggy War [mailto:eccentricpeg@yahoo.com]
Sent: Saturday, September 12, 2009 4:22 PM
To: kim beckwith; Jeannie Bonesteel; christi72@cox.net; gilly; Lori Hestad; brenda lafayette; louann willard; norman woelk
Subject: Fwd: FW: If you want a good laugh !!!FW: Why women lie

>
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> One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to ariver, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the
> water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
>
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> "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked The seamstress replied, "No."
> The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
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> "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."
> The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
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> "Is this your thimble ?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
>
> Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"
>
> The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.
>
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> "Yes," cried the seamstress.. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
>
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> Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
> And so the Lord let her keep him.
>
>
> The moral of this story is:
> Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.
> That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
>
> Signed,
> All Us Women, Amen
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Monday, September 14, 2009

Dance Performance

Scott and I were given a fabulous dance performance last night by our very own Jade Su Casey. Wow was it awesome, it was full of twists, hops, twirls and even some forward flips. She danced to Basha, one of my favorite feel good performers. Here are some photos . . .

Fwd: Re: [Joe and Marlene] Fwd: Photos from JJ for blog

Awesome pictures!! Can the people in the photos be identified? Is the J-bird in any of them? Poppop

Saturday, September 12, 2009

China Girls

what a wonderful day! We got together with four of the China 135 couples in a park in Northeast Connecticut. So Jadie, Mia, Leiha (sp?), Kaci, LuLu all got to hang out and play together. What a trip. The girls are getting so big, they are all smart and beautiful and full of energy! I also had a great time hanging out with the parents, what a great group of people. There was a lake, good food, bubbles and lots of laughs!! We are truely blessed!!!

Jade did not want to leave, once I got her into the car, she fell asleep in 30 seconds and woke up when we were 1/2 way home. Once she woke, she cried the whole way - she didnt want to go home, she missed her China Girls :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Fwd: Photos from JJ for blog

thats not all of them, just some of the ones i like. poppop wanted to see some and to put them on the blog

love:JJ

FW: Ailsa Beckwith, Kindergartener

-----Original Message-----
From: BECKWITH, NANCY HS [mailto:NANCY.BECKWITH@hs.utc.com]
Sent: Thursday, September 10, 2009 2:52 PM
To: sbeckwith3@cox.net; bobb@sigmatix.com; William Beckwith; Brian; Aileen Casey; Weiss, Susan; suesong@mymailstation.com
Subject: FW: Ailsa Beckwith, Kindergartener

Pictures of Miss Ailsa (in one of the outfits I bought her :-)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Fun, Fun, Fun

We went to Point Pleasant this weekend and relived some childhood memories with our kids. These are some shots of the kids having a blast. You've got to LOVE family and outings. Suzie and I had our picture taken in front of our grand parents house on Naubuc avenue, very nice!! Wonderful weekend!!

Enjoy!!